Young Academic Gifts

Kid in bed to mom: How come third graders don't get a personal day?

"You're lucky, my parents are both scientists at the University: I need to submit weekly grant applications to get my pocket money..."

Kid talking about teeth giving oral report.

"Of course I flunked the spelling test. My pencil doesn't have spell check!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Eternal Student.

Pretty Flowers

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Meet the scribe"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Is it that bad?"

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'