Aspiring Academic Gifts

"Well, I think it's good that he wants to go to university."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

What else is there to wish for?

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."