Academic Aspirant Gifts

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

What else is there to wish for?

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

Good luck in your A Levels.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'