Aspiring Scholar Gifts

"You got 136? It says here you're genius if you get a 132."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'I can go to college after all if you increase my allowance to $50,000.'

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

A girl climbs a ladder of books

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

What else is there to wish for?

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'Why not take some time off after high school...travel a bit...get a job...make some money...pay your own way through college.'

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

Parental Role Model

You can tell which seniors got accepted early admission! West Fester High School.

I'm interning at town hall for my college transcript. Cool. I'm taking AP classes to boost my GPA. How about you, Twig? I'm working at my dad's nursery. What do you get out of that? Money. Novel idea!

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'I found this copy of 'Atlas Shrugged' under his mattress!'

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.