Future Litigator Gifts

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

"He's just out of law school."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"I don't need to learn about ethics. I'm going to be a lawyer."

"I think I have diaper rash...whoever is responsible for this I'll sue when I grow up."

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

'You be the doctor this time and I'll file a malpractice suit.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"I like the idea of becoming a prosecutor: charging people appeals to me..."

'Will this help me get into law school?'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'You are about to become professionals. You will no longer work for free. You will work pro bono.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

Law Offices

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

"I'm going to be a lawyer so I'll be arguing both sides."