Aspiring Lawyer Gifts

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"We sent Justin to law school, but it didn't take."

'I'd like to go to law school, but I guess I'm destined to become a frog.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my son. When the time is right, he'll arrive at the universal default choice and apply to law school.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

Truth

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"We make crime pay."

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Do Guns Kill?