Aspiring Lawyer Gifts

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"We sent Justin to law school, but it didn't take."

'I'd like to go to law school, but I guess I'm destined to become a frog.'

'I don't believe in pressuring my son. When the time is right, he'll arrive at the universal default choice and apply to law school.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Truth

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'