Aspiring Judge Gifts

Simon Cowell

Do you think it's too late for me to go to law school and position myself for an appointment to the Supreme Court? Yes, unfortunately. You'd have to go back in time and start preparing early. By that I mean WAY back. As in you'd have to ensure that the cells that formed you had genes that would give you intellectual curiosity, above-average intelligence, and ambition. But you do still have time to become a layabout. You seem to have prepared very well for that. What? You'd still get to wear a ro

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Young Dr. Dolittle.

What else is there to wish for?

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

'Let's play doctor. You be the primary care giver and I'll be the doctor you refer patients to.'

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

'I got an 'F' in penmanship, but it doesn't matter. I plan on becoming a doctor.'

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

'You are about to become professionals. You will no longer work for free. You will work pro bono.'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"