Aspiring Cop Gifts

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"I've been genetically modified!"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

Family traits.

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'Step 5. Call the Fire Department.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

"I want you to be well in life, son...."

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

'I could beat these eggs a lot easier if it weren't for all the shells.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

'Just call me Delia...'

The young Lisa Laflamme.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

US Camouflage School

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

Simon Cowell

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

'I'm thinking of jumping right from JV ball to the NBA.'