Future Cop Gifts

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Dad, may I use the plane tonight?'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

"Whether they are his first words or not - E.V.'s do not make that sound!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

A convict escaping during the press scrum

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.