Future Police Officers Gifts

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Family traits.

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'...and as a consequence, you lot all redundant. I'm not making it up.'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Excessive Paperwork

'This will help you keep track of who's who.'

"Your footage makes us dizzy so we're taking back your body camera, Officer Dancing Traffic Cop."

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

"No, that looks nothing like him. Were you even listening to me? Young man, are you on drugs?"

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'Jones, I have asked this officer to arrest you on the grounds that you are a serial time killer.'

Public unions.

'Let's enrol on the last one. We've more chance of getting a job doing that these days.'

'Me, I'm here for perjury: I said I couldn't remember while under oath...'

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

'But, sweetheart, it's only for three hours. Just say you're bringing him in for loitering.'