Future Law Enforcer Gifts

Boy loitering on the street says he is practising to be a policeman

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

Kid in pedal police car pulling over a kid on a trike

"I'm going to be a lawyer so I'll be arguing both sides."

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

Anti-litter by-law in effect

"Yeah, well, you sure don't drive like a slow loris."

Daddy's Litigious Girl

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

"My people will get back to your people."

"I'm giving you a fine for illegal parking. I don't care if this is a traffic jam."

"I'm glad your second year in law school has you thinking like an attorney, but you've got to stop submitting a bill with your homework."

'I'm sorry, Mum. But, if I let you off, I'll have to let everyone's mum off.'

'...A vehicle clocked at more than 1,800 miles per hour!'

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

'I said to recite the alphabet. You may not google it!'

Drunk police officer

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

Businessman pops child's Earth balloon with cigarette.

Boy caught by a policeman

"I'm bringing litigation against everyone who is responsible for my overly demanding socialization."

'You must be new on the force.'

'I used to love this job. You could get away with anything.'