Detective Wannabe Gifts

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'

'I wish they could make one that would find things in your purse.'

"They suspect foul play."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

Don't be so hard on yourself, Plum. I'm sure a candlestick in the conservatory seemed like the perfect crime at the time.

It appears that the victim was a nerd

"I ain't got it!!"

'He was your height, but thinner and better looking. You haven't caught him yet, so obviously he's smarter.'

Crime and Identification

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

'It says, 'Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with the candlestick.''

'I told you we should have done the robbery in the summer!'

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

"So unless one of you confesses, you'll all lose your privileges."

"I have been digging holes for over 20 years and this is my first dead body. I have to admit, I'm not sure what the exact protocol is here. Should we just put the dirt back and dig somewhere else?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Director/Action Man toy.

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

Pony Director

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'