Detective At Heart Gifts

"Admit it, we're lost."

Bob spent years tracking down his birth parents only to discover the awful truth. They lied. He had never been adopted.

Yes, he looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, but you still have to prove he's a duck beyond a reasonable doubt.

'Curious Man Discovers Magnifying Glass With His Magnifying Glass.

"Missing"

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

'Apparently Bill has had his identity stolen.'

"Remember, it could spoil the whole evening if you mention the smell of decomposing flesh coming from their basement."

"Now listen to me, Kevin..."

Hunting the lion

'The victim has defense wounds. When the art challenged her, she clearly put up a fight.'

Spiro & Pusho on the minefield

'It all happened so fast - they beat me unconscious . . . next thing I know I wake up and my glasses are gone.'

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

'That was Colonel Mustard. He'd like a mop, some bleach and several large trash bags brought to the conservatory right away.'

Clues.

'?'He was definitely here earlier. Looks like he gave us the slip.'

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

Talk to your plants. But first, make sure they aren't wearing a wire: "...And make it look like a tobogganing accident."

"...but I have a fourth Epstein theory..."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Barks in code.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

hard-boiled egg...

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'You know too much,'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"