Detective Gifts

"Was the coroner able to establish the cause of death constable?"

"Any clues?"

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

"My first impression is that the victim was probably a lousy referee."

"Lady Fowler, how long has your husband been missing?"

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

"I'd say old school crime. None of your high tech methods here."

Rocky Road, Private Eye

"Sorry Ma'am, but forensics seem to indicate your husband has 'Gone Fishing'..."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

"This 'digital revolution' - can we muscle in on that?"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'We ran some samples at the lab... it's dirt alright.'

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

"Did he have any known enemies?"

"OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!"

When Engineers Crack.

Bowling pin line up

It was the break they had been waiting for: prints left behind at the scene of the crime.

"Anything you say can be used in a very exciting new true-crime podcast we're working on."

"For the benefit of the tape, the suspect grunted and shook his head."

It was a tough case. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking.

'She says she was trying acupuncture to relieve his chronic headaches.'

"Well, we've learned one thing from all this ? burglars shouldn't keep diaries."

Police Line Up: 'This is useless.'

"No this isn't the old 'good cop, bad cop routine'. This is the old bad cop, worst cop routine!"

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

'Do you really care about my opinion or am I just a random sample?'

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

'Come to think of it, he doesn't need to give us the information. I can just look it up on the Internet.'

'It's a pretty nice warrant, all right, but I wouldn't call it 'outstanding'.'

Detective with a magnifying glass.