Detective T-Shirts

"Was the coroner able to establish the cause of death constable?"

"Any clues?"

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"I take it this is your first day as a scene of crimes officer?"

"My first impression is that the victim was probably a lousy referee."

"Lady Fowler, how long has your husband been missing?"

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"I'd say old school crime. None of your high tech methods here."

Rocky Road, Private Eye

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

"Sorry Ma'am, but forensics seem to indicate your husband has 'Gone Fishing'..."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

"This 'digital revolution' - can we muscle in on that?"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'We ran some samples at the lab... it's dirt alright.'

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

"Did he have any known enemies?"

"OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!"

When Engineers Crack.

"For the benefit of the tape, the suspect grunted and shook his head."

"Anything you say can be used in a very exciting new true-crime podcast we're working on."

It was the break they had been waiting for: prints left behind at the scene of the crime.

'Do you really care about my opinion or am I just a random sample?'

"No this isn't the old 'good cop, bad cop routine'. This is the old bad cop, worst cop routine!"

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

"Well, we've learned one thing from all this ? burglars shouldn't keep diaries."

'She says she was trying acupuncture to relieve his chronic headaches.'

It was a tough case. Plenty of witnesses, but no one was talking.

'Come to think of it, he doesn't need to give us the information. I can just look it up on the Internet.'

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

Detective with a magnifying glass.

"It looks bad, boss - they got your DNA off an old tennis ball."

'Personally, I think a question like that says a lot more about YOU than it does about me.'

'This is a textbook case of homicide.'