Detective Wannabes Gifts

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

"Wake up, Jane! There's a giant talking squirrel at the end of your bed!"

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'My theory is he's faking sleep in order to get the $50 for the study.'

'Curious Man Discovers Magnifying Glass With His Magnifying Glass.

Yes, he looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, but you still have to prove he's a duck beyond a reasonable doubt.

'The victim has defense wounds. When the art challenged her, she clearly put up a fight.'

'Is that a detective movie?'

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

"Perhaps you slept SLOWER than usual..."

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'?'He was definitely here earlier. Looks like he gave us the slip.'

Don't be so hard on yourself, Plum. I'm sure a candlestick in the conservatory seemed like the perfect crime at the time.

"I've found Waldo. Now what?"

"It's not the first time this cartoonist has struck, Watson. I've seen this signature before."

"Admit it, we're lost."

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'