Undercover Wannabes Gifts

Ernie's Insurance. Ernie, you'll never sell any policies if you don't tell people that you're in the insurance business. I know, but I like thinking of myself as a "secret agent."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'That's what I'm talkin' about!'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

The modern sheriff.

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"And another thing - I'm tired of you calling my band a 'side project'."

Undercover Agent

Boulder thinks: 'I rock.'

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

"I'm a Texas Ranger."

'Ernie may look tough, but he's really a geek at heart.'

In-law country

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

And so ended the years of preparation our hero refusing to whimper even now in his final, flopping moments.

The Chest of Drawers Whisperer.

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

"We appreciate your feedback."

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

"No, I'm not working undercover, Timmy. School librarians are allowed to use public libraries."

Viking Hats.

Not cosplay, Mr. Jenkins, copay. I asked if you had a copay. Check out.

'You guys are more like a gaggle, than an entourage!'