Undercover Operative Wannabe Gifts

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Barks in code.

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

Undercover Biophysicists

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"Your clock watching and staring into space skills are top notch!"

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

Rattache

'We want to make a movie about making a fake movie so you can sneak us out of Washington.'

'I understand about strangers, but is it okay to take candy from Federal agents?'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

He's given up being an internation man of mystery and global sex symbol as part of his new years resolutions.

Privacy Conference Security

Spy reading secret service weekly.

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

I heard you're on your way to Europe to secure a source of black market hepatitis C drugs. What? What are you talking about? I deny everything. Where did you hear that? You added an airplane pillow, the "German For Dummies," the book "Hep C and You," and "Smugglerco Duffel Bag w/Secret Compartment" to your Amazon wishlist. I ordered you the book "Not Everyone Is Cut Out For A Life Of Crime." I deny everything.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Plum. I'm sure a candlestick in the conservatory seemed like the perfect crime at the time.

'Took me all night to write that message.'

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

Hidden decorations = Covert operations

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'