Wannabe Rebels Gifts

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Your Palm

Bear watching a man trying to fish bear style.

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

In-law country

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

The Island

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

TO BOLDLY GO where everyone else went (not all that long ago...)

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

Viking Hats.

"I've got a part in a soap."

"I can try all I want, but there's no way I look smooth on this bike!"

"Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy, but what I want is power of attorney!"