Wannabe Rebels T-Shirts

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

As Seen On TV

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

Parenting Academy...I failed insemination.

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Your Palm

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Bear watching a man trying to fish bear style.

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."

'I love you, Mom, but I'm going to live with the Obamas now and be the first son.'

In-law country

Dave's new nail gun revived the childhood ambitions he'd had before realizing that he could earn more as a carpenter than as a hero.

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

'Be reasonable, son - even Santa couldn't get a horse into a box THAT size!'

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

The Island

TO BOLDLY GO where everyone else went (not all that long ago...)

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

"Carry yourself like everyone knows you, ad everyone you meet will feel like they should know you."

"I can try all I want, but there's no way I look smooth on this bike!"

"I've got a part in a soap."

"From now on let's do our drawings inside the cave."

Viking Hats.

Ernie's Insurance. Ernie, you'll never sell any policies if you don't tell people that you're in the insurance business. I know, but I like thinking of myself as a "secret agent."