Wannabe Racer T-Shirts

Driving School Car being Followed by Wreckers.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

Zorro as a child.

"Next, I'd like to play 'Guantanamera.'"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

As Seen On TV

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."

Speed Checked by Radar.

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

The Island

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

'But look, Sire -- a whole lot of people have you down as their fifth choice!'

'Never, Ever...try to imitate LeBron James on the basketball court.'

'You were exceeding the speed limit, but congratulations on getting this heap up to 75 MPH.'

'Am I losing my way?'

TO BOLDLY GO where everyone else went (not all that long ago...)

"We're only here summers, but Roger likes to be taken for a local."

After the cutbacks at flight simulator school. . .

New harder driving tests - Instructor saying 'Find a parking space'.

"My Dad would like to borrow a cup of milk...and a cook book."

"I can try all I want, but there's no way I look smooth on this bike!"

"I've got a part in a soap."

"From now on let's do our drawings inside the cave."

"I've never actually run but I understand the marathon mentality."