Jedi Wannabes Gifts

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Yard Sale. It could be we're pillaging too much.

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Grocer with pretensions of being a soldier

Your Palm

'We'd better patent this, so the homo sapiens can't steal it from us, like they did with the fire.'

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

"And another thing - I'm tired of you calling my band a 'side project'."

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

"I am a ninja rabbit. I am stealth personified. I am one of the unseen. I am now invisible...Darn."

'These low energy light sabres take ages to warm up.'

A pilot is waiting for a Jedi to signal he can proceed on an airport runway.

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

Trying to thumb his nose at authority, Lumpy stuck his thumb in his eye! Man covering eye with his hand.

"I'm going to demonstrate how dogs are stealth ninjas in the dark. See how I move silently....."

Mouse levitates cheese off mouse trap.

In-law country

Darth/Obi-Wan pillow fight

"Forget about the Wizard, guys...these stores have everything!"

Are you a "Star Wars" fan, good sir? Who isn't? I would like to propose a small wager. Ask me any question about Star Wars. Any question at all

Obi Wan Kenobi uses the Force at the doctor's office.

"I failed insemination!"

"At least this way we don't have to trudge around with a bunch of weirdos."

"Ugh, stop it, Dad- everyone knows you're not making this happen!"

"When you can sneak up on me, without my knowledge, then, and only then, can you consider yourself a true Ninja!"

My heart be still, Snookums. Rudy's still insulting everyone in sight? It's beyond that. Not only has my ninja training taken hold with Rudy, but he's taken it to a new level. He's moved his insult frenzy to the internet, using Twitter and Facebook. It's gone absolutely multimedia. I've gone viral! I don't know what it means, either, but it sounds awesome. Be afraid.

GOP mind trick

They had always thought you had to be a karate master to get a black belt. Then one day, they discovered it was the other way around.

'I don't need to neuter him. He can go about his business.' A jedi dog trick.