Jedi Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't need to neuter him. He can go about his business.' A jedi dog trick.

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

GOP mind trick

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Oymoticons

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

Did you find our menorah?

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Mahmoud Abbas

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

The Exobus

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"Use the force to concentrate, Luke. The force and noise cancelling headphones."

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

"May your year be pear-fect."

The Last Supper or the First Easter?

'These low energy light sabres take ages to warm up.'

A pilot is waiting for a Jedi to signal he can proceed on an airport runway.

"I wouldn't have smacked you on the butt if I'd known your light saber was in your back pocket."

Torah-nosaurus Rex

"That's just sick."

"Kfetch!"

Existential Dreidel

Lulav and Etrog Fencing

Bubbie's parrot

Shimon Peres last embrace...

Amos Oz

Mouse levitates cheese off mouse trap.

"That was Elijah. He's stuck on the Garden State."

You Got Schmutz On Your Face

"Kfetch!"

Darth/Obi-Wan pillow fight