Judaism Enthusiast Gifts

The Exobus

Reform, Conservative and Orthodox gasoline.

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Oymoticons

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Did you find our menorah?

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'What, They're comfortable.'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

"May your year be pear-fect."

The Last Supper or the First Easter?

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Safer Torah

"I don't care if it's his new year, that's my honey!"

Torah-nosaurus Rex

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

Lighting Chanukah candles was a matter of seconds for Puff the Magic Dragon

John Travolta shakes the lulav and etrog,

"That's just sick."

'No, you don't get to pick one from each column!'

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

"Kfetch!"

Bubbie's parrot

Lulav and Etrog Fencing

Existential Dreidel

Amos Oz

Tradition!