Israel Enthusiast Gifts

Shimon Peres last embrace...

Amos Oz

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Oymoticons

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Did you find our menorah?

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

al-Maliki.

Middle East - Abbas and Hanya

Mahmoud Abbas

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

The Exobus

All I said was, thanks to Sadie, I know what's wrong with the Middle East. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. It's the birthplace of civilization. It's the dysfunctional family home from whence we all came. It's ruled by a stubborn and cranky old know-it-all mother with a superiority complex. She never changes, which is why the kids, once they came of age, got the heck outta there and only come by once in a while to referee her arguments with dad and make sure they're still in her will ... and for

The delegitimization effort.

Bank as a money tree

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Mideast Sisyphus.

"May your year be pear-fect."

"Together we are superspreaders of light!"

Safer Torah

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

"I don't care if it's his new year, that's my honey!"

Ismail Haniya

Torah-nosaurus Rex

'I create them, I liberate them from Egypt, I give them manna, and now they want me to make the sun stand still!'

Lighting Chanukah candles was a matter of seconds for Puff the Magic Dragon

"That's just sick."

'No, you don't get to pick one from each column!'

"Kfetch!"

Israeli leader Ariel Sharon, pose two