Detective Wannabe T-Shirts

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'

'I wish they could make one that would find things in your purse.'

"They suspect foul play."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

It appears that the victim was a nerd

"I ain't got it!!"

'He was your height, but thinner and better looking. You haven't caught him yet, so obviously he's smarter.'

Crime and Identification

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

'It says, 'Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with the candlestick.''

'I told you we should have done the robbery in the summer!'

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

"So unless one of you confesses, you'll all lose your privileges."

"I have been digging holes for over 20 years and this is my first dead body. I have to admit, I'm not sure what the exact protocol is here. Should we just put the dirt back and dig somewhere else?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

Director/Action Man toy.

A boy acting suspiciously

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

"I'm a changed man, Lou - I'm wearing a wire AND a fitbit."

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

Pony Director

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications