Aspiring Detective T-Shirts

'What would happen if we hired two private detectives to follow each other?'

Yes, inspector, it's another cold-blooded murder!

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

A boy acting suspiciously

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Optician and the PI.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'Fancy coming on a man hunt?'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"That's not the stick, it's a blood-stained satchel full of money... but hey, good boy!"

"We thought we could put in the details later."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

"I'm getting dangerously close to figuring out what I did last night."

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'You're free to go. Another suspect matching the description of having big ears and a trunk has just been arrested for the circus stampede.'

US Camouflage School

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

'Now that WE'VE found the secret message we will respond by not telling anyone.'

"Sorry about the disguise.But we've had to reduce our budget for the 'witness protection programme'."

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

The only time you are actually too old to follow your dreams.

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'