Future Convict Gifts

Businessman reading a book called 'So you're going to prison.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

'You are about to become professionals. You will no longer work for free. You will work pro bono.'

'After graduation, I plan on working in warrantless surveillance for the CIA. How about you?'

Valentine Comix

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Next time I cut the red wire...'

'Wilson's back in the work force, and apparently not too humbled by his prison term.'

Businessman pops child's Earth balloon with cigarette.

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

Trump in a prison cell.

Twelve Happy Men.

"Great news, Phil! The governor has determined that you don't have a high enough I.Q. to merit execution."

"Basically, a letter to the editor got out of hand."

'Well, that's what we get for listening to reason.'

"I want to be prepared for my teen years,so I want to practice being mouthy and moody now."

I think I'll holiday at home this year!'

'I got your sentence reduced from tar and feathers to molasses and confetti!'

"I thought being released early from prison would make you happier."

'It's always WITNESS protection programs! -- How come they never have CRIMINAL protection programs?'

"Just practicing for my teens."

"Well, then Henshaw, are you going to talk sense or would you like another night of uniterrupted Hindemith?"

'You have a right to a lawyer, not a right to be strip-searched!'

'I got 75 years -- I was driving under the influence, and I ran over an endangered species.'

"Something tells me this won't be the last time you're picked out of a lineup."

'You'd have to work your way up to becoming a spy, maybe get some tinkering experience first ...'

"Gee, but I miss the heightened eroticism of those five and a half years of conjugal visits."

"Where do I see myself in five years? Living off the royalties of the tell-all book I will write."

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"That's blind loyalty for you."