Potential Criminal Gifts

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Violent Crime Statistics

Good Cop, Annoying Kid.

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

The evidence destroyed

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Mobsters at the Beach

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."