Crime Gifts

"Was the coroner able to establish the cause of death constable?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"My first impression is that the victim was probably a lousy referee."

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

"Earlier you testified, and I quote: 'I wouldn't hurt a fly.' And yet police found this unregistered weapon in your home, along with several dead flies."

"You never helped us dig, so you go last."

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

"I'm advising my client not to answer any more questions, or to even make eye contact."

'Personally, I think a question like that says a lot more about YOU than it does about me.'

'We know the elephant died when he jumped off the roof. But the other guy? It's a mystery.'

"If the jury had been sequestered in a nicer hotel, this would probably never have happened."

"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"

Over-Organized Crime

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

Finally, Dr. Death cracked and agreed to write out a full confession. Unfortunately, no one could read his writing, so they had to let him go.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.

'Your wallet's being stolen. It's good you came in when it first started bothering you. We've caught it early.'

Innocent bystander waiting area.

'Sir, the stupidity of your actions was directly proportional to the number of surveillance cameras watching you.'

'Okay, all of you, stay right where you are. The murderer may still be near.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

Check-in - 'Did you pack this case yourself Sir?' (case full of money)

'Right son...you're knicked!'

How to avoid law.

"I know he cheated on me because of his childhood abuse, but I shot him because of mine."

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

Aged criminal receiving a life sentence

'So you morons just dumped him in the river without cataloging it?... Damn it, this is supposed to be organized crime.'

"Any of these guys look like the Peeping Tom?"

'I admit I killed him...but it wasn't murder...It was an accident...'

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'

'I'm part of the drug culture. All I ask is that you respect cultural diversity.'

"Look, at least we're talking."

"I couldn't find a nail file, like you asked, so I brought you some nail polish and lip gloss instead."