Crime Philosopher Gifts

Looking for unique presents for the crime philosopher? Our collection blends clever humor with deep insights, perfect for sparking curiosity and philosophical debates over a mug, tee, pillow, or print that celebrates their love for crime stories and philosophical musings.

All Products Prints T-Shirts Mugs Pillows

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun." mockup

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

from $19.00

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?' mockup

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

from $19.00

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA. mockup

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

from $19.00

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

from $19.00

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar." mockup

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

from $19.00

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.' mockup

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

from $19.00

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?' mockup

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

from $19.00

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'." mockup

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

from $19.00

The Philip Marlow family

from $19.00

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.' mockup

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

from $19.00

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy! mockup

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

from $19.00

"Don't editorialize."

from $19.00

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.' mockup

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

from $19.00

"Number 2. Step forward please."

from $19.00

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system." mockup

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

from $19.00

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual." mockup

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

from $19.00

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.' mockup

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

from $19.00

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.' mockup

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

from $19.00

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising." mockup

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

from $19.00

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!" mockup

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

from $19.00

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you." mockup

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

from $19.00

Mobsters at the Beach

from $19.00

The evidence destroyed

from $19.00

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...' mockup

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

from $19.00

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement." mockup

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

from $19.00

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

from $19.00

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!' mockup

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

from $19.00

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.' mockup

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

from $19.00

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.' mockup

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

from $19.00

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.' mockup

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

from $19.00

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.' mockup

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

from $19.00

Crime Philosopher Gifts Collection

Crime Philosopher Mugs

Explore our range of mugs designed for crime philosophers, perfect for those inquisitive mornings or philosophical reflections over coffee.

Crime Philosopher Pillows

Discover pillows that showcase quirky crime and philosophy themes, perfect for cozying up with a good mystery.

Crime Philosopher Prints

Browse art prints that challenge the mind and decorate the walls of any crime mystery or philosophy enthusiast.

Crime Philosopher T-Shirts

Find t-shirts that speak to the crime philosopher’s love of mystery and thought—ideal for wearing their curiosity with pride.