Crime And Punishment Theorist Gifts

Please wait to be seated (by electric chair).

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Extreme Sisyphus

Minority Report

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

We are faced with a dilemma about why American social fabric is unravelling with such bewildering violence...fry a few people to make ourselves feel better about it!

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'Your honor, before we get into the issue of black and white, I'd like permission to slip into my grey suit.'

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

I Do Not have OCD

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

"I interpret the death penalty according to the times."

Trump in a prison cell.

"I got a no TV for a week in math, a no dessert for a month in history, and a just wait 'til your father gets home in social studies."

'Yeah...who knew community service would be this harsh?'

'Dungeons aren't SUPPOSED to be user-friendly!'

'I like it, but I feel dungeons are a more enlightened way to go.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

"For parking in a handicap space, I sentence you to 30 days in a wheelchair!'

"Whenever I watch the Nature Channel I get survivor's guilt."

"That's really bad for your posture, you know?"

'I didn't get a fair trial, my judge owned the house I burgled.'

"Hey, punishing ME won't bring him back!"

I got probation.