Crime And Punishment Ponderer Gifts

Firing squad. Condemned man with blindfolded guide dog.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Needs to get a life"

Extreme Sisyphus

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

Ivan Turgenev

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.