Penal System Ponderer Gifts

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

Extreme Sisyphus

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Max Weber

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

Caption Contest TK

I see

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

Retirement Issues

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."