Penalty Ponderers Gifts

Penalty Box. Shouldn't there also be a "reward" box? I've been nice most of the game!

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Extreme Sisyphus

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Bumper Limos

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

The Loneliness of Power

Jealousy

"I think the idea behind coin collecting is to get one of each kind, not all of the same kind!"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"As requested, we're going to go over you retirement fund, so, if at all possible, let's hold questions until I have finished and I'm out in the parking lot starting my car."

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

I Do Not have OCD

"It used to be called pensions."

Sales at the Yo-Yo Co.