Problem Ponderers Gifts

"Yo've got to be more specific, Ed. Wake you when what's over?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"Needs to get a life"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Ten Commandments

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Max Weber

"Great, now we're lost."

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

A psychic mows the lawn.

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Caption Contest TK

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."