Problem Pondering Gifts

'When we say 'it's not rocket science' we mean it's something far more complicated.'

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'At least I don't have his life.'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Caption Contest TK

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

"Does my brain look big in this?"

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

A Toxic-Waste-Think-Tank With Toxic-Thoughts.

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."

The Collective Unconscious