Crime And Punishment Analyst Gifts

"This is the part of the job I hate."

Minority Report

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Financial Corruption

Medellin erases the image of Escobar

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

New research on streetcrime

See no evidence, hear no evidence, speak no evidence.

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

Don't worry, we're anti gun control.

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

"Ah ha! Organised criminals..."

Please wait to be seated (by electric chair).

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

We are faced with a dilemma about why American social fabric is unravelling with such bewildering violence...fry a few people to make ourselves feel better about it!

QC appointments fall to all time low.

Official Support Groups

"Thou shalt not kill. It's a sin. But people still commit murders, I'm happy to say. And the state kills the murderers...I'm twice as happy to say."

Any shohplifters with a social conscience avoids small businesses.

"The business of crime DOES pay. It pays our salaries!"

Crime Prevention Seminar

'You must have doubts because even I don't know if my client is innocent or guilty.'

"It's not a spike in crime, it's a spike in REPORTING crime that was there all along. So... that's better, right?"

"They all lead back to this ball of yarn."

'I'm a grandfather. How would you like it if someone mugged your grandfather.'

'When the Secretary of the Navy signed off with, 'Long live the Ayatollah', I knew we had been hacked.'

"I see the cuts are starting to bite."

Plea Bargain Deals of the Rich and Famous

The Forensic Statistician...

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'This is the Island of REAL misfit toys.'