Philosopher Of Danger Gifts

Brain Terrorist

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"They're very time-sensitive."

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

Priest tries to decide between $3 angelfood cake and $1.50 devil's food cake.

A pivotal scene from 'Faust: The Road Movie.'

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

"They're all down there sentenced to an an eternity of fornication, licentiousness and intoxication."

'I believe in kizmet and it is our destiny to be friends for life.'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"So using all those brown coffee filters literally bought me nothing?"

The last minutes of Abu Prishniad, amateur snake charmer.

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

95mph fastball.

'The End is Near'

"Lighten up, pal, it's only a spider!"

"I'm not a fallen angel, precisely, but I have had a few stumbles."

"....bird flu? No, I want something against the fear epidemic!"

"I totally wiped out on my bike."

"Quiet Smithers... I thought I heard something."

At Heaven's Gate St. Peter flips a coin.

Dice with death.

'It's Fanshaw, I tell you. I'd recognise that silly grin anywhere.'

'Relax! It's a bottomless pit!'

The Graveyard of Ambition.

A bored unshaven guard sat on a chair.

"The end is near." "The end is far."

'We're pleased to announce we've taken a controlling interest in your personality.'

Hard Work Never Killed Anybody - But why take the risk??

'Really? I see the bucket as half-empty.'

Do Not Open

Cold Cruel World: If a guy smashes his finger and there's nobody around will he actually make any noise?