Modern Criminal Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Computer an accessory to computer fraud

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Current location

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

Mobsters at the Beach

The evidence destroyed

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'