Aspiring Driver Gifts

No more emergency stops...

Ace Driving School - Crash Courses Available.

'I knew that it was a mistake to fail him!'

"If I want to go anywhere, I have to be driven! And no one has more driving ambition than a guy who's saving up to buy a car!"

"Baldo, that's an $85,000 car."

"Dad, I need a car! I have places to go and no way to get there!"

"Nothing but car trouble all day long!"

"This leaf tells me you are not ready to drive."

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

What else is there to wish for?

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"Well, I'm just saying, buying me a cheap used car for graduation is not going to teach me responsibility."

"Whether they are his first words or not - E.V.'s do not make that sound!"

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

Your mother and I don't think the weekend lacrosse league is a good idea, Teddy. Why not? Too much driving. But I ride the school bus home from practice all week! Exactly! Our favorite mass transit vehicle! I can't wait to get my license!

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'...so until you get your own place - you live by our rules!'

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

"Sorry, son, but you're not old enough to drive my new car. But you are old enough to show me how to use its computer system."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'I've completed driver's ed, auto repair and sex ed. Now may I borrow the car?'