Aspiring Journalist Gifts

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Career center: 'I'm planning to replace Katie Couric when she retires!'

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

A father films his family while imagining himself as a director

"What made you start blogging about success?"

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Whoops - I Accidentally Pressed 'Elevator Pitch.'"

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"I fell I have a great novel me."

'Look on it as... constructive criticism.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

'On Company Time: A Novel'