Aspiring News Reporter Gifts

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Man Reading Laptop.

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

2020 Swiss barmy knife

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

Presenter Auditions.

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

'Here's our business editor to talk s**t to us for five minutes'

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Flake News

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

Try not to worry.

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

News Reporters.

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

Man chasing microphone.