Aspiring News Reporter Pillows

"Bad news. The press got a hold of your kindergarten paste eating scandal."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

2020 Swiss barmy knife

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

Presenter Auditions.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

Flake News

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'Here's our business editor to talk s**t to us for five minutes'

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

Try not to worry.

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'We interrupt this Special Bulletin to give you an even more special bulletin!'

Man chasing microphone.

'Coming up next...more of man's inhumanity to man...in hi-def.'

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

News Reporters.

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.