Future Legal Prodigy Gifts

'You should be a lawyer...'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

I love Lawyers

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Will this help me get into law school?'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'