Little Lawyer In Training Gifts

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"When will I be old enough to start suing people?"

"Just be yourself."

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

'I told you to not get Danny that Junior Carpenter set.'

'I wonder what the statue of limitations is on something like this?'

'I'm not playing with Kevin anymore. He's suing me.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

Playing Doctors.

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

Apparently I didn't learn enough. They say I have to come back tomorrow. Welcome to Kindergarten.

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

Thank you

"I'd say you're ideally suited to be a solicitor, Mr Henshaw Henshaw Hanshaw and Spratt."

'Pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

Children playing divorcees

"Keeping your allowance while suing your parents is going to be tricky."

'I don't believe in pressuring my son. When the time is right, he'll arrive at the universal default choice and apply to law school.'