Trainee Lawyer Gifts

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'Will this help me get into law school?'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

Make good decisions!

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'