Trainee Lawyer Gifts

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Will this help me get into law school?'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'Let's arbitrate.'