Trainee Lawyers Gifts

"If Jesus had gone to Law School" - "Let him who is without sin cast the first lawsuit"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"We make crime pay."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

Lady Justice.

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Will this help me get into law school?'

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

'... Because it's the law! That's why!'

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'