Lawyer In Training Gifts

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

"You mean the vase I allegedly broke!"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

Martin Luther King and Obama.

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

To Be/Not To Be

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

Dolphin tricks.

She's at that ackward stage in law school between a knapsack and briefcase.

'Forget about hunting and gathering - I'm going to be a lawyer.'

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

'Okay, let's negotiate. Just how good do I have to be?'

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

Make good decisions!

"Aw, Miss! Why do you always pick on me to answer the questions?"

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

"Attention, please. At 8:45 A.M. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008, you are all scheduled to take the New York State Bar Exam."

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."

Pantomime auditions - 'He'd be ideal as Buttons.'...'Oh, no he wouldn't.'...'Oh, yes he would!'

"Wanna play doctor?"

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

'... and not just any leader... we want one with real accomplishments.'

"I'd say you're ideally suited to be a solicitor, Mr Henshaw Henshaw Hanshaw and Spratt."

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

"Who do you want to sue when you grow up?"

"I don't need to learn about ethics. I'm going to be a lawyer."

'Young man, I don't like the look of that emoticon on your face!'