Legal Expert In Training Gifts

"I'll leave the door open and the hallway light on, but you're much too old to need an attorney in your room."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'And after I'm through, our staff attorney will drop by to assist you with all the pre-nuptial agreement documents!'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"We make crime pay."

Pillaging, formerly Acquisitions Department

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

The Devil's in the detail!

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

' Of course there isn't one law for the rich and another for the poor..There's only one impartial law. For all who can afford it.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'